


A Letter To Dean

by TheRealLifeCath



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A goodbye fic, Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Moving On, Sad, Sad Ending, Sorry?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21847219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealLifeCath/pseuds/TheRealLifeCath
Summary: A love letter of sorts to Dean, from Cas.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	A Letter To Dean

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what this is really, the idea just came to me and I wanted to share it. I also am trying to post more so yeah, sorry the angst, again. I'll try to post something happier next.

_Dear Dean,_

_We were incredible._

_Every part of what we were shone brighter than the fires of your nightmares and the heaven of my dreams. Flames mixed with ice and the rest was history. _

_There’s no denying that we were beautiful together, not even God could make me doubt what we were. _

_But the problem is not that I doubt what we were. _

_I don’t doubt that you loved me, I don’t doubt that you wanted me or needed me. I don’t doubt that you would’ve taken that chance at an apple pie life, with me. _

_I don’t doubt what we were Dean. _

_But I doubt what we are, now. _

_Once, you would’ve done anything to keep me. Once, we would’ve gripped tightly, maybe too tightly, at the connection we shared. _

_If I left?_

_Once, you would have followed. _

_Now, you wouldn't - you didn't follow._

_And that's okay. _

_Not because I don't love you, or I believe that it's okay that you hurt me, but because we missed our chance. _

_We don't fit like puzzle pieces anymore. Everything that happened to us, around us, with us... shaped us. The pain of heartache, the betrayal - it carved pieces away at the edges until you no longer fit with me. _

_I think it started the second I made that Deal with Crowley. I saw the first breakage when you found out... and from then on we were doomed. _

_I tried. _

_I tried to break off pieces of myself, leave behind the parts of me that I wanted to keep, so I could fit with you again... It didn't matter to me. I didn't care how much I had to carve away if it meant that one day I'd reach you, and be your other half again. _

_But you kept changing and I couldn't keep up. _

_And eventually, the pain of lost pieces was too much to bear, and I stopped. I gave up trying to fit with you. _

_What we were, was two halves destined to find each other's arms. What we are... is two separate, so very different, strangers, who know too much about one another. _

_I want, I wish we had worked. _

_I wish, more than anything that we still could find comfort and love in each other's arms. I wish things were different, I really do. _

_You told me not to change. _

_And I wish I could've told you the same thing, or understood how to live out that wish but... _

_How could we not change?_

_So much has happened Dean, so much has changed since that night on the side of the road. _

_I still love you. _

_I don't think that will ever change. _

_Because you're Dean, and everything about you made me want to abandon every aspect of my life - heaven, my brothers and sisters, my wings. _

_You are more beautiful than words can explain. _

_Your emerald green eyes, your freckles, your smile, your bravery, your kindness, your selflessness... all so so very breathtaking, but the most beautiful, Dean, is your soul._

_No words can describe the kind of light it radiates... you have no idea how incredible it is. _

_For these qualities, I love you. _

_I will always love you. _

_But I know, better now, and I am aware of the change, and the breakage between us. _

_It's hard for me to come to terms with but, Dean, I know now..._

_Sometimes some stories don't have a happy ending. _

_Sincerely, Castiel. _

**Author's Note:**

> Can u tell I was in an emotional mood? Yuh I'm an emotional asshole who still cries at that one scene in 'Someone Great' even tho I've watched it a thousand times.


End file.
